Facebook.com down for some users

30 Sep 2015 | Author: | No comments yet »

#FacebookDown: Twiddling our fingers while Syria burns.

Fool me once, shame on you, the saying goes. “We are currently restoring Facebook services that people had trouble accessing earlier today due to a configuration,” Facebook spokesman Jay Nancarrow said. The latest hoax has led many of the site’s users to copy and paste a sort of 21st-century chain letter into their status, which may read something like this: Now it’s official! No sooner did Facebook boss-hog Mark Zuckerberg announce that he would move heaven and earth to make the social network available in the United Nations’ crowded refugee camps than Facebook crashed, doubtless because of millions of refugees rushing online to “like” his status update.

That’s so like those selfish refugees, ruining everything for the rest of us, and before the Book of Face had even deployed its promised thumbs-down button so we could put them in their place – their place being in crowded Syrian border camps without enough free Wi-Fi to fill up our timelines with photographs of all the flies swarming over their bowl of UN gruel. #soblessed There’s a reason we call these things First World problems. Facebook has just released the entry price: $5.99 to keep the subscription of your status to be set to ‘private.’ If you paste this message on your page, it will be offered free (paste not share) if not tomorrow, all your posts can become public. Verified email addresses: All users on Independent Media news sites are now required to have a verified email address before being allowed to comment on articles. With Facebook down, how will anyone ever know whether all those they hated in high school and promised they would never speak to again are getting together to relive the worst of the best years of their life this Friday night at the local RSL? #DoorPrize for anyone who can still fit into their school uniform.

At the same time, another hoax is making the rounds, claiming that users may lose the rights to pictures and content shared via Facebook unless a legal notice is posted as a status. Caitlin Dewey, a culture critic for the Washington Post, lamented on Twitter Tuesday morning that her story, “Why that Facebook copyright hoax will never, ever die” is again relevant, ten months after it was published, which was when the last Facebook hoax pervaded news feeds the world around. How will ‘Strayans Against the Islamic Terrorfication of Everything get their message out to fellow ‘Strayans who are against everything this country stands for, now that Tony Abbott is gone and nobody stands between us and a great black tsunami of halal-approved Vegemite? Dewey offered up the following theory for why we keep falling for it: Legends like the recurring Facebook message promise to ward off things that we fear or don’t understand: vast corporations, complex copyright laws, the looming specter of big data and disappearing privacy. The cruel laughter and mockery of those Twitter bastards, who think they’re so cool with their cool celebrities and witty banter about Facebook being for the people you went to school with and Twitter being for the people you wish you went to school with.

That a status update could protect against those things makes no sense, of course — but it vindicates and comforts whatever vague anxieties we feel. Whatever the underlying fears that perpetuate this now routine prank, Facebook responded to this latest one with, of course, a status update: “While there may be water on Mars, don’t believe everything you read on the internet today. That Class of ’91 Reunion at the RSL this Friday is gonna go wild when the Yummy Mummy Dance-Off fires up and you won’t have to fight your way through a million stupid #qanda tweets to see the pictures either.

So, as humanity counts the cost and ponders just how close we came to actually having to speak to each other like animals, or at least via text message, like animals with disgracefully poor band width, let us resolve that never again will Zuckerberg lose $1.7 million an hour in advertising revenue. If it means that we have to accept refugees into our online community so that someone, somewhere can access the benefits of sponsored links and native advertising for one weird trick that you just won’t believe to lose that unsightly belly flab, then who better to enjoy that benefit than a homeless and terrified Syrian asylum seeker?

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